it was like eating out sand paper
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
