This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
