marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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