And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
