and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
