If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
