Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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