I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
