HIV tests are more positive than that guy
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
