He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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