oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
