Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
