either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
