I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Randomize
