The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I cut my penus on the lid.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
