Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
