You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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