im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
you never un-have a 4some
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
