why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
