I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
