A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
