i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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