I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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