just tell him i said nine months
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
