The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
no you cant smoke seaweed
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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