It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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