so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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