it was like eating out sand paper
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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