My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
