i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
