No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
