when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
