he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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