Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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