If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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