She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Less talking, more tequila
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
