he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
