But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
