I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
