Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
