my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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