I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
