Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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