Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
