Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
