i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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