I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
