fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
