All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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