Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She announced her abortion via fbk
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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