i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
